Hello dear readers,

It is apropos that tonight’s post is about the gayest wedding I’ve ever been to (including my own), just after writing about being a lesbian in Africa. Let me tell you, there’s a reason I live in Durham, NC. In Durham there’s a lesbian on every street corner, holding a cat with a leash, smelling of patchouli oil. It is a city where I can hold my wife’s hand without fear of harassment. Where you’re only a dog park away from an ex and pride lasts year round. I am so lucky. However, drive about 10 miles outside of Durham and it is a completely different story. 

Our wonderful friends got married tonight and they did it up! There were drag queens, rainbow cakes, a photo booth, a person painting henna on folx, a person putting in fairy hair on folx, giant Paperhand Puppets, the poetry fox, catering by Dame’s Chicken and Waffles (if you come to Durham it is a must-have), local beer and cider and a whole lot of queer people celebrating queer love without reservation! It was magical! There was dancing and singing, sweet personal vows and lots of love. It was just what I needed. The world has felt very heavy recently with all the political stuff going on and I have to remember that we are still here, fighting the good fight and living out loud. We’re here, we’re queer and we aren’t going away!

Durham is a huge city but feels like a small town. Nik and I saw unexpected people at the wedding- one of those being my fabulous hairdresser. Another was a neighbor from our first home together in Durham. It was so nice to let go of all of the stress and the worry and just celebrate being alive and loving one another. It was really one of the best weddings I have ever been to. I didn’t want it to end. I used to hate weddings. Truly. I sat through them, resentful, thinking I would never get to have that. Yet, in 2015, the Supreme Court said marriage was for all and Nik and I had our gay wedding. Now I get to enjoy the ritual of standing in front of those closest and pledging to love one another forever. It is beautiful. And for now, they can’t take that away from me…