Because of Covid we were able to zoom with relatives near and far. From my Uncle in California, to my Maine nieces and nephews, everyone was included. It really felt like everyone got exactly what they wanted this year.

So she woke up quite surprised to find the food all eaten by Santa and his reindeer and her stocking full of presents and a giant gift under the tree. It made it Christmas, already one of my favorite holidays, extra special. It is even more so juxtaposed with last Christmas in which I was severely depressed and trying to “fake it till you make it” through the seasons. It was the first time I understood all the folks who hate Christmas time. It is horrendous to feel so awful while everyone else is so cheerful. I went on to attempt suicide last February. I won’t say more about that because I don’t want to trigger anyone. But when I say I am feeling all the feels this year, I mean it! I know how low one can feel and I also know how grateful I am today to still be living, experiencing this flawed world, in which it's a mixed bag of joys and sorrows. I feel like I am out from under the dark cloud that is depression, trying to tell me no one else has ever felt that same way and I will never feel any different. I feel happy and hopeful today. 2021 is a new year with lots of things to look forward to: a Covid Vaccine, a new president and hopefully a resumption of social gatherings. We are so close! I can feel it!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!