Tidal turmoil
I know I haven’t been so good about updating this. I do want to continue with this project but I have a couple of day jobs that keep getting in the way. Ok, so we left off to where I was able to visit my Gram IN PERSON this past Monday. She is more tired but still very lucid. She keeps saying how surprised she is each day that she wakes up alive. She is so silly. It is lovely to know she has no regrets and feels completely at peace for the end. She says “I can’t believe I have lived this long! What is the reason?”
I’m going to be a little selfish and say she has stayed alive so we could build our relationship. Honestly, we were not close when I was growing up. My grandfather was easier to love and my grandmother was harder. She always was the serious one- matter of fact. He would share stories of the past and his love of gardening. When my grandfather was dying he asked me to take care of my grandmother. I have taken that request very seriously and it is my living amends for all the times I didn’t show up in my 20’s to spend time with them when I was drinking. Now that I am sober, I am able to be present and have a true relationship with my Gram. As she has gotten older she has gotten sweeter. She now refers to me as her “angel”. I’m not sure I truly qualify but the sentiment is adorable and we continue on with our relationship. I try to visit at least every other week and we fill our time with foot care, conversations and bills. Before COVID she was still writing a check each month for her retirement home and her medications. I was the person who facilitated such tasks. I know others have cared for those at the end of their days but we don’t talk about it much. Well, I can’t help but be wide open with everything in my life and this is a part of it. I know that death is a hard topic for folks, but if you care for the elderly, death is a part of life. I have been honored to be a part of many people’s discussion of end of life, and have held the hands of those who breathe their last breath.
I have put out a request for folks to send birthday cards to Gram on social media. She is going to be 107 on April 13th and we cannot celebrate with our standard party this year due to COVID. But I think she would love seeing all the cards and letters from folks wishing her a happy birthday. So please flood the postal service with your dear cards and letters!
Eugenia Perkins
Friends Homes
#28 cedars 925 New Garden Rd
Greensboro, NC 27410
I am working near the beach this week and taking advantage of a day off in between work. I have much to say about COVID but do not want to open the flood gates regarding that. Just know I am staying very safe but also living in the now.
I am burying this next news into all this discussion because I am so sad to say… the county cited us about our chicken coop. They told us due to zoning, the chicken coop can only be in the backyard. This is fine (of course I always think of fine as a 4-letter F word). I have an alternate plan with my builder and the coop will be relocated. What is left is some really uncomfortable knowledge of our neighbors and their feelings. Sometimes it is best to live naively, pleasantly dumb, living your life without any drama. Someday… So yes, the chicken coop will be de-constructed and then placed in the backyard. Hopefully we will no longer have anonymous petitions against us in the neighborhood.
As far as my own love letters. This next one is again, young Jenny not realizing she has feelings for her very best friend. They are just inseparable. The next letters are after we take the plunge...but I must leave you on this cliffhanger...