It has been a day, hasn’t it? I left you saying I thought democracy would prevail and then we had an attempted coup happen. I started my morning with an email from work about a patient who I was waiting on her pathology report. Due to HIPPA I cannot give too many details but, let’s just say, it is an incredible act of serendipity that she came to my clinic doors for me to perform the biopsy in order to get the diagnosis so she could be treated appropriately. Let’s back up. A few weeks ago a patient traveled 5 hours to have a procedure done by me because I was the closest, cheapest option. She has no health insurance. I spent the entire day trying to get her an appointment somewhere that she could afford. In the United State of America, healthcare is not considered a human right. So people have to beg, borrow and steal to access care. I have provided primary care in a county jail and in case you don’t know, there is an actual constitutional right to healthcare if incarcerated. The only place in the United States where healthcare is a right.

I cared for a patient that held up a bank for $10 so he could have his gallbladder removed for free. He was at the end of his rope and felt that was the best way to access the care he needed. Many people die in the United States because they do not know how to navigate our broken system. People of color are dying because they don’t have the privilege of access to the doors of healthcare. My patient was a white woman. I’m not sure a person of color would have found me. I am so angry that I live in a country with so much wealth and people are dying because they do not have access to basic needs. I’m grateful I have tools today to know how to harness this anger. I went to the woods with my pup and screamed and cried and sang Quaker hymns.

“Tis a gift to be simple, tis a gift to be free.

Tis a gift to come down where we ought to be.

And when we find ourselves in a place just right,

we will be in the valley of love and delight.”

Everything had to unfold exactly how it did for me to be in the place I was to be able to care for this patient. This woman had to drive 5 hours to me; I had to have access to schooling to learn to do the procedure; I had to have the privilege of grandparents that helped pay for my education; I worked in the underserved communities so I knew how to navigate the system for the uninsured patients; and I had to be sober and present enough to accomplish it all today in a sound and healthy mind. I am incredibly grateful but also incredibly angry. I have learned I can hold both feelings and be ok. This patient will be alright. The United States will be alright. Democracy will win; white supremacy will be defeated; the patriarchy will be smashed and I am going to keep writing my stories. As the Lorax says “I speak for the trees!” Well, I feel I speak for all the patients that sit in my office and tell me their horrible stories. I’ll never forget the undocumented 17 year old Latina who told me she got her first depo provera shot before she crossed the United States border, so she wouldn’t get pregnant when she was raped by the coyotes that would bring her across. Her dad gave his last peso to buy that contraception because he knew what was in store for her. I will keep telling their stories and I will continue to show up and fight for them.

God bless America.