Grammy Update
My phone rang today and I saw the name “Friends Homes” pop up on my caller ID. My stomach clenched and my heart skipped a beat because this is my Grandmother’s nursing home’s number. It is rarely good news when they call. I am her healthcare power of attorney, so anytime she falls or has a change in medical status, they are required to call me and give me updates.
I answer “This is Jen.”
‘Hi, this is the Assistant Nursing Director from Friends Homes.”
I stop breathing.
“This is not an emergency...I just wanted to tell you something that happened today.”
I feel my shoulders relax and my stomach unclench. It turns out my Grandmother was taking a bath today and decided, no demanded, that her rings be taken off her fingers. These rings include her wedding band with four tiny diamonds and my grandfather’s gold wedding band that she has worn on her middle finger since he died. She has promised me her wedding band when she dies and insists my grandfather’s band goes to my twin brother, Jacob. She has always said, the morbid and practical one that she is, that I am to cut her fingers off once she dies, before she is cremated so I can have those rings. She was so afraid we would cut the rings off and ruin them or have them melted down in the fire.
Well, for some reason today, she got it in her head that she wanted me to have them this minute! This has happened as she’s gotten older; she perseverates on a topic and obsesses until we (all those around her), do her bidding. So the Assistant Director of Nursing was calling me to let me know they had locked the rings up in a safe, and that she was directed to call me to come and pick them up so I could have them now.
It is still so bittersweet, thinking about my grandmother dying. On the one hand, she has been ready to go for twenty years and has no regrets. On the other hand, I am going to miss her fiercely. Every day that I have had with her since my grandfather died ten years ago has been a gift that I have cherished. He asked on his deathbed that I take care of my Grammy after he dies and I consider it a living amends (I’m in recovery) that I honor that wish. I missed out on a lot of years with them when I was drinking and I don’t want to miss out on a minute more. I’m so grateful today!
My own wedding bands with my wife, Nikki
We have actual bands too but as healthcare professionals, this was a practical solution when Nikki is in the OR and can’t wear her ring.
A wedding gift from a dear friend…
