108 but who’s counting?
Reunited at last!
I went to visit my grandmother today. She recently qualified for hospice, so she is having additional services where she stays. She already gets excellent care at her Quaker nursing home, Friends Homes at Guilford in Greensboro, NC. She and my grandfather helped create this retirement community and wanted to ensure they would not “be a burden” to us when they got older. They had it all planned out and it has gone mostly according to plan. My gram lived in their independent apartments when my grandfather was alive and when he died 11 years ago, she moved to assisted living. When the Covid Pandemic happened, staff requested her to move to skilled nursing due to her age, logistics of creating a COVID ward and the uncertainty of the times. She’s a challenge because she is very mentally sound but needs some help with activities of daily living. She is too stubborn to ask for help so falls often but thankfully, never breaks anything. She attributes it to the time she participated in an osteoporosis drug study. She’s extremely hard of hearing and her eyesight has gotten blurry, but we can communicate with a white board or if I speak slowly and loudly, she can read my lips.
When she moved to assisted living after my grandfather died, she refused to sleep in a bed. She claimed sleeping in a recliner was better for her arthritis and back. I think she couldn’t bear to sleep alone in bed. No one would argue if I called her a stubbornly curmudgeon. We didn’t argue with her about her sleeping conditions. However, when hospice took over (I adore hospice services so much), they immediately assessed she needed a bed to prevent bed sores. She spends most of her time dozing these days. The thing about hospice is that they cannot predict how long a person will live so using them is not a death sentence as so many people have misconstrued. I brought some purple bedding to help make her new hospital bed cozy and made it up as I was taught in nursing school, military corners crisply done. Gram has had a decreased appetite and has lost about 10lbs in the past couple months. She is the skinniest I have ever seen her. I asked her why she wasn’t eating and she just shrugged. She and I usually have the same appetite- very hearty. So this is indeed a change for her.
Gram got COVID 2 weeks ago and was quarantined. Thanks to vaccines and her strong constitution, her only symptom was shortness of breath and the necessity for oxygen occasionally. Today, her breathing was untroubled and not supplemented. Her nails were unkempt and we got to her spa treatment, as is custom. My very sweet wife kept up this tradition while I was in South Sudan and would soak my Gram’s feet, cut her toenails and rub lotion on her swollen, sore feet. I have no idea how much longer she will be alive. She’s been wishing for death for over a decade without sadness, just acceptance of a life well lived. Each visit I have with her feels like stolen time and I am grateful for each moment.
