Tim Black
Today I learned from Facebook that Tiffany’s dad (my first girlfriend and the one I have my own letters from) died unexpectedly. I have so many fond memories of him and it just is heartbreaking to think of him no longer on this earth. After we were pushed out of the closet by Tiffany’s mom, we were not allowed to see each other outside of school. However, her mom couldn’t keep Tiffany from visiting her father, so we spent every weekend at his house on an island off the coast of Maine. His house had panoramic views of the ocean. It was incredible and an amazing getaway from all the drama of high school angst and such. I taught Tiffany how to drive a stick shift going back and forth to Orr’s Island to our hometown of Auburn. My father bought me this horrible car that would need fifteen minutes to restart it if you stalled. It was so stressful on the Monday mornings we would be racing to school and then it would stall on a hill.
Tim made the best clam chowder I have ever tasted! I cannot replicate the recipe. His secret ingredient was cinnamon (I hope Tim is ok that I shared that). We spent the summer of our senior year of High School on Orr’s Island (it is my favorite summer ever) and worked in a tourist shop, Land’s End.. Tim would pick up fresh clams from the local fishermen and we would have either his special clam chowder or steamed clams. There is nothing like fresh clams and Tim knew how to make them shine!
I can never thank Tim or his partner Cheryl enough for their hospitality that summer and those many weekends. It was a safe anchor for us to stay where I felt accepted completely. I never felt judged by them and that mattered so much as a queer kid. Tiffany and I could hold hands, kiss and do all the normal relationship things without worrying we were offending anyone or that we would be chastised.
I gained 20 pounds that summer because they had a fryer and Tif and I would fry everything- french fries, chicken nuggets, chicken patties for sandwiches….I could go on. I have always struggled with my weight but have also always been a runner. I would run from one end to the island to the other. There was only one main road so I would trudge along the pavement each morning, smelling the sea salt in the air. It was a magical time; I felt completely loved and accepted on that island off the coast of Maine.
Thank you Tim for giving me that safe place to stay and feel that unconditional love. You matter so much to me and were so important during those painful years. I hope the beer is flowing wherever you are…
I’ll include a link to his obituary.
